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We have moved...

We are now at Akouo.

Thanks for walking along with us thus far; hope to see you there!

Ben & Soo Tian

anji

Psalm 5
A David psalm

"Listen, GOD! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings,
my groans and cries?

King-God, I need your help.

Every morning
you'll hear me at it again.

Every morning
I lay out the pieces of my life
on your altar
and watch for fire to descend."

Every day I rant and rave before God. Oh, for mercy.

40

One of my favourite U2 songs is "40" from their album War, which is based on Psalm 40 and concludes the tense, driving album on a note of peace and hope:

I waited patiently for the Lord.
He inclined and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay.

I will sing, sing a new song.
I will sing, sing a new song.
How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long, how long, how long
How long to sing this song?

You set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm.
Many will see, many will see and hear.

I will sing, sing a new song.
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song.
I will sing, sing a new song
How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?.


Last year, while journeying through the Message, I was struck by something in Peterson's introduction to the book of Psalms:

"In English translation, the Psalms often sound smooth and polished, sonorous with Elizebethan rhythms and diction. As literature, they are beyond compare. But as prayer, as the utterances of men and women passionate for God in moments of anger and praise and lament, these translations miss something."

What I like most about "40" is its prayerful tone, suggesting that there really is no way around war or strife apart from running straight into the arms of God. The whole idea of patience, of 'waiting patiently' doesn't come easy to us, who'd rather take matters into our own hands and dictate our own lives.


In a sense, the Message translation stretches and stresses the first verse much more:

I waited and waited and waited for God.At last he looked; finally he listened.He lifted me out of the ditch,pulled me from deep mud.He stood me up on a solid rockto make sure I wouldn't slip.He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,a praise-song to our God.More and more people are seeing this:they enter the mystery,abandoning themselves to God.

It was written by David, but the sentiments are universal. As I look at the first two lines, I realise that those words were most probably uttered by Job as well. Not just Job and David, but every God-follower who has ever come face to face with God's wisdom -- a higher wisdom that expects no less than the laying down of our own wisdom, which is foolishness to the highest degree, to receive a 'foolishness' that knows no earthly parallel.


This is the prayer I have learned to sing in my moments of doubt, anxiety and darkness... and musically speaking, it's precisely the kind of prayer Bono's voice was made for. The Psalms still remain inaccessible to me at times, especially if I read them merely as poetry or 'wisdom.' But wisdom buried in obscurantism isn't wisdom at all. Jesus himself spoke in the lingo of the 'man on the street.'

Perhaps that is why I remember and appreciate better the Psalms that have been made into songs, simply because the composers manage to find that earnestness of expression that gives voice to these seemingly archaic texts. Tear the Psalms out of their frozen zone, and scream them out with the passion of the psalmists... unorthodox, but more real, perhaps?


But we would be wise to heed a word of caution. In chapter 16 of C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape describes a vicar who preaches nothing out of his cycle of 15 favourite psalms and 20 favourite lessons.

The Psalms, being good literature, tends to breed favourites. I do admit I prefer some psalms to others, but this is my fault. Not that it's a bad thing to fall back more on some psalms than on the rest; surely that is why God gave us 150 of 'em all! But feeling at home in my 'comfort zone' also restricts me from exploring the vast riches of the many more psalms I have not read in detail, let alone prayed.

There is always room to 'sing a new song,' and the greatest danger is sticking to a treadmill of psalms, thus limiting our view of the immense landscapes that have yet to be discovered. Let us go into the books of wisdom with an open heart, a sound mind, and a desire to pray and cry out to God.

(completing the incomplete)

Anyway, now I’m in New England, living out life as Peterson put it to its fullest. The wind rushing through the trees this morning as I sat with my Uncle Hutch on his deck now in hindsight reminds me of the story of John Muir clinging on to that tree for dear life. That’s how life is. And that’s how I want to live it. But so many times I find myself crouching in the corner of the cabin, crying to myself, feeling forsaken.

A time for everything I guess.

The wonders of grace… as you said once, I remember… “God is faithful even when I’m unfaithful.”

I’ve always liked the words of this song. I first heard it when Uncle Daniel Goh, a huge guy who attended my church for a while led worship. I believe it’s by Marty Nystrom (whose CD ‘In Christ Alone’ I found really good during certain times of my struggles).

Forgetting what lies behind
And setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus

We’re running the race to win
All the way to the end
Throwing off anything that will seek to hinder us

And we’ll be faithful, to our calling
‘Cuz he is able to keep us from falling
In his power, we will trust
(correction!) HE’ll be faithful to finish
The work He began in us

I guess theologically this song might give people a slightly wrong idea at the end. We’re not the finishers of ourselves. He is! That’s why one subchapter of the book “Messy Spirituality” (which I bought with some hesitancy due to my mental mushiness and incapacity to chew on anything at all) is called “The Myth of Fixing Ourselves”. Maybe I should quote a short excerpt here:

“For a period of time, we were lucky enough to have a house-keeper. She would come in once a week to dust, vacuum, and clean every little out-of-the-way corner of our house. I dreaded the day she came, because my wife and I would spend all morning cleaning the house for the housekeeper! We didn’t want the house to be dirty, or what would the housekeeper think?”

Indeed, once again I’ve been hit so hard with the reality that it’s only when we come to the end of ourselves, that God can begin the real work in us.

Anyway, I’ll be going out again tomorrow. I’ve got some lovely shots of New England that I must show you. I’m thinking of taking Photography I by the way this semester. Eheh. Looks like someday the both of us might be adventuring somewhere both armed to the teeth with cameras, lenses and rolls of film just in case our digital memories fill up to the brim (that happened today by the way with us… us being my mum, my Aunty Carole and me).

‘Til next time, Ben. Take care. I have to go to the toilet urgently.

Embraces of fellowship,
Soo Tian

plan b

dear uncle ben

y know im into all this rap shit yall n da devils behind me . get behind me satan . get behind me . cypress.. tribute.. yall dunno wat the heck is goin up in dis feckin brain . west coast . east coast . unity south side yall . dis 1 goes outta tim . emeritus ya gotta keep ur head up . lets start this shit

hey dun miss out on wat ur passin ur missin the buddha of the chicken hootaz . defenders of the cross yall fecked out an stoopid . so cmon as knux starts 2 kcik it!

cuz im running n hidin . druggin and drivin . jump behind dat bush when u see me cummin by . hangin out my sunroof . with my glock takin out some putoz

actin kinda loco cuz im just another local kid . from the loq of the staq with ma lyrics . heres somethin u guyz dun get banned . how i could just save a man

here is sumthin u cant understand
how i could just kill a man
here is sumthin u cant comphehend
how i could just save a man
here is sumthin u cant misunderstand
how i could just preach a man
here is sumthin i cant understand
how He could just kill a man

and didnt

tian drunk?

dear uncle ben

dear uncle ben,

in the us of a now n i dun need no punctuation cuz it doesnt matter n today i went n saw a shrink named christopher bir no he doesnt drink i think n i started to know my roots and my lovely self my uncle hutch sez eighty percent of americans have diff stories bout their marriage

my mum used to say she hated it when my dad gave me a letter without punctuation now im the same n i wnt to say i love u to many girls and guys thruout this life n no 1 understands except some peopl thank god for that n life is hard

now everyne thinks im crazy soungie barred me from his list n doesnt trust me anymore my list life is faling apart

i dun have to care bout all the crap cuz peterson sez so

n the bible sez so

go to hell

get behind me satan dats the newest album by the white strips the white album is dope the black album rocks and the grey album is a buncha crap the brown album by primus is by far the best

gotta run uncle dom wanna show and in fact is showing video in black n white cuz the tv doesnt wanna work well aunt mona feet on chair my mum sittin on floor n im having weird thoughts bout things unspoken

i love u

u know who you r

u could be more than 1 person

goodnite

tian